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Saturday, 16 January 2021
16. Does not return or reciprocate hugs Print
When my husband and I hug him, he often goes stiff or turns his head and body away from us.  His arms stay at his sides.  Others around us say some children aren't affectionate and don't like to be hugged.  They don't see how he avoids any closeness or touch from us.  (a. 6 mo, FC)
He would give a hug or kiss if directly asked.  But not until we'd been doing attachment therapy for almost a year was he able to routinely offer hugs and kisses on his own.  This has been a profound indicator of change in attachment for us. (a. 5.5mo, FC)
When we ask our son for a hug, he always comes to us and leans into our hug, but doesn't hug us back with his arms and body.  It was the same with kisses too.  He would always lean into a kiss if we asked him for one, but never pucker up and smooch.  After a few months of attachment therapy, he now hugs us back and gives us kisses.  He is also beginning to initiate more hugs and kisses on his own without us having to ask for them.  (a. 4.5mo, FC)
I had to literally teach her how to hug.  "Put your arms around me.  No, around my neck.  Now, squeeze with your arms.  That's it!"  Before I took the time to teach her to hug, she would just lean into me when I asked for a hug.  We hugged her hundreds of times a day for months.  You would think she would have known what to do, what a hug was, but she didn't.  I still have to remind her sometimes to give me a "real hug," and she rarely initiates them herself.  (a. 11mo, FC)

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