| Disrupting Adoptions |
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It’s a topic no one wants to talk about. Including me.
When I entered the world of adoption several years ago, I believed that disruption was never an option. Ever. Not under any circumstances. Like many of you, I’ve been grieved to learn of parents disrupting because the image of “ideal child” somehow went unmet. Let me be clear that this is not what I’m talking about here. What I am talking about is situations in which the child absolutely must be removed in order to give the child the best-case scenario to heal. In an effort to heal their child, the parents are forced to make a heart-wrenching decision and place their child in another home. One might wonder why this topic is being addressed on a website primarily aimed at children who arrive home as infants or toddlers. The cruel reality is it is happening more and more often to children who were placed as babies. Children are coming home more emotionally traumatized than families are prepared to handle. Perhaps the family lives in an area without professional assistance or cannot afford the very costly help that the area has available. Or the child is causing serious physical and/or emotional harm to other children in the family. Or the health of the adoptive parents doesn’t allow for the safe protection of an extremely aggressive child. Or a marriage dissolves, leaving a single parent unable to deal with the child’s severe behaviors. Education is definitely one answer--education for both families and placing agencies. How can this best be done? What other answers are there? How can we save more children—more families—from the pain of disruption? 'Cause that’s a topic we should all be talking about.
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