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Thursday, 22 June 2017
 
 
Therapy/Therapeutic Parenting Print
This journey was not something that any of us were prepared to do alone. Some of us had successfully raised several other children before embarking on the journey of attaching a hurt child. Even with all of our experience and parenting skills, we needed outside help when we learned that love alone wasn’t enough. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that we needed professional help to learn how to put love into a child who resisted. We strongly recommend finding an attachment professional with proven success treating young children. A good attachment therapist will teach the parent how to do therapeutic parenting at home, 24/7. This not only helps the child, but supports the entire family. When the parenting "toolbox" is full, everyone benefits.

Many, many families are in therapy for a bit and then quit because their kids look better. Or the therapist says they can quit because the family seems to be progressing well on their own.

When we started this journey, we began using Holding Time by ourselves. No therapist. Within a week, things had IMMENSELY improved. I thought we were done. But 5 months later, I still was seeing little (though annoying) things, so I decided to have it checked out. I honestly thought that the attachment therapist would give us a clean bill of health, say that we were progressing fine on our own, and send us home.

She didn't.

We worked on attachment. When symptom #1 stopped, I figured we were done. That this was as good as it would get. But our therapist said there was more to do.

Then we got rid of symptom #2 and I thought we were done and this was as good as it was going to get. But she said we weren't done. Then the same thing happened with symptom #3, and #4, and #5, and the next 100 symptoms. (Most of which I hadn't even seen myself.) And we still aren't done.

But he keeps getting BETTER AND BETTER. If I had had any less of a therapist, I would have quit way back when the first few symptoms disappeared. Because he was TREMENDOUSLY better. But she knew that he could go even further. And I trusted her. And he has. I can't wait to see what he is capable of. And as long as we continue to make progress, I keep going.

I wish more therapists operated this way. It's so unfair to the kids and to the families who love them to "settle." Our therapist says that most families quit before that last 10% of the journey is done. It's so close to "normal" that they quit. I thank God that she is there to show me that there is 10% more that needs to be done. If I didn't have her, I think I would write things off to his personality or to things that were currently happening in his life...and not realize that we still had more progress to make. The depth of joy....the depth of closeness to me...are things we just hadn't anticipated. With all my heart I wish that for more families. (a. 5.5mo, FC)


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