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Wednesday, 27 January 2021
Velcro Baby Print
Many parents feel assured that their infant is well-attached because the child cannot be without the parent. He may cry every time Mom leaves the room for a second. He may insist on being carried. He looks like a "cling-on" or "velcro baby," never wanting to be away from Mom. This is where "attached" is really a poorly chosen word. Obviously he is attached...he is "attached" 24/7. But he is not securely attached. A securely attached child can spend periods of time away from Mom.

Several moms of attachment impaired children spent years trying to find help for their children, only to be turned away by mental health professionals who said the child was fine because he wanted to be with Mom all the time. The moms noticed something interesting, however. While it was true the child wanted to be with Mom, it was also true that the child wanted to be with Mom on his terms. While he never wanted to be apart from Mom, he might also never allow himself to completely and totally relax and rock in her arms. He might not be affectionate, unless on his terms.

The word "attached" is misleading in the case of a velcro baby. A securely attached child does not feel the need to be glued to Mom's hip, 24/7.
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