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Thursday, 27 April 2017
 
 
Hides Abilities Print
One mom was very concerned about her son's development, especially his comprehension & retention of information. After repeated teaching, he seemed unable to absorb some basic facts about himself. Here's her story:
I've been going out of my mind this past week trying to teach my son that he is now 3 years old. This is how our conversation has been going.

Me: Johnny, how old are you?
Johnny: Johnny Miller
Me: No, that's your name. How OLD are you?
Johnny: Korea
Me: No, that's where you were born. How OLD are you?
Johnny: Itchell (that's his version of my name in English)
Me: No, Johnny, listen to Mommy....

So I'm thinking he's so delayed that he won't ever graduate school or marry or have a normal life. I get myself worked into a frenzy. Then it dawns on me...hmm...I remember him once telling a stranger how old he was the first time she asked him not long ago. I'm starting to think I'm being played here. So I talk to my aunt (principal, former special needs coordinator) and she says ask him once and then don't ask again. I tell my husband my new plan this morning and try it out. Our conversation goes like this:

Me: Johnny, how old are you?
Johnny: Johnny
Me: No. (I turn my back to him and do the dishes.)
Pause
Johnny: 3 years old.
Me: VERY GOOD! (clap, clap, clap)

Later on I test it again.

Me: Johnny how old are you?
Johnny: Korea!
Me: Nope. (I turn my back again.)
Smaller pause
Johnny: 3 years old.

The kid has been playing me like a violin. (a. 7.5mo, FC)

I remember the first time I realized I was being duped. My son had this amazing way of going through the day acting like he had no idea what I was saying. You would have thought his receptive language was 0 months! But I kept talking and talking all the time even though he ignored me. So one night I am sitting next to the tub depressed and ready to drown myself while he plays and as usual ignores me. Finally I say, "David, give Mommy the alligator." Of course I'm just talking to hear myself talk, right? He stops playing, looks around the bathtub, finds the alligator, hands it to me and then goes back to playing and ignoring me. I am now in shock! I say "Give Mommy the ____" and he does the same thing with another animal...he contines for about 10 animals!!!! That is the first time he gave me any indication at all that he understood me and had been listening all the time...how else would he know all the animals??!! He was about 14 months old when this happened. (a. 6mo, FC)

Even after a year of attachment therapy, we still have new attachment-related behaviors come up as he reaches new developmental levels. The latest, at age 3, is trying to make us think that he can't hear. He will ask a question. I will reply. Then he will ask, "What? What? What?" to the point that I would think that he is losing his hearing. When I finally noticed this pattern of behavior, I was able to stop it:

Child: What we eating (for breakfast)?

Me: Pancakes

Child: What?

Silence

Child: What?

Silence

Child: What?

Silence

Child: Pancakes?

Me: Yes!
(a. 5.5mo, FC)
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